Waiting for Marriage
A few weeks ago my pastor was talking about saving yourself for the sanctity of marriage. This is actually a pretty simple phrase that means saving sex for marriage. Lamentations 3:25 says, “The Lord is good to those who wait for him, to the soul who seeks him.” Waiting can be hard but God has a plan and He will bless you while you wait.
Waiting to have sex until marriage takes a lot of discipline especially when many people today aren’t. The first thing my parents told me was to set my boundaries. My mom said before you go on a date have a set idea of what you are and are not going to do so you don’t get “lost in the moment.” Bring a map or you won’t get where you want to go! Setting your boundaries is a pretty serious thing so pray, pray, pray about it. A year ago I decided I wanted to save my first kiss for my husband on my wedding day. I spent 2 months praying and seeking God’s guidance before I actually made my decision. I started thinking about saving my first kiss until my wedding day when I heard a story about the Duggar family. I remember seeing the young couple on the show, holding hands for the first time the day they got engaged. They also saved their first kiss until their wedding day. I saw how in love and devoted they were to God and I thought that is the kind of relationship I want. I asked my mom how she was able to wait for marriage. She said when she was 14 her mom had her write down a list of her boundaries and what she was looking for in a guy. My mom had me do the same thing a few weeks ago. When I finished the list I sealed it and addressed it along with a letter to myself to be opened on my wedding day. I love the letter and the lists because they did help me when setting and sealing my boundaries. Boundaries act as sort of a shield and you can win a battle a lot easier if you have a shield.
Setting boundaries will help us in our fight against temptation because temptation has a way of finding us again and again and again. Temptation keeps coming back, and if there aren’t boundaries or thoughts in place we will fall. We are sinful human beings, purity does not come easy. When I think of how to deal with temptation I think of Joseph in Genesis 39. Potiphar’s wife is continually trying to seduce Joseph and finally she grabs his cloak. Joseph takes it off and runs. I love the end of verse 12, “He left his cloak in her hand and ran out of the house.” Joseph didn’t shuffle away a few steps, he ran completely out of the house. He had an opportunity to sin, no one would know about except God. In verse 9 Joseph says, “How could I do such a wicked thing and sin against God” Against God! Joseph knew that sleeping with this woman is not just a sin for them against but also against others. They might be able to fool Potiphar but this would be a wicked sin against God. So take Joseph’s advice sexual sin is against not only ourselves and our future marriages; it is a sin against God! Run out of the house, drop whatever your doing, and run from temptation.
My mom also said the best thing you can do to help in staying pure is an accountability partner. An accountability partner is just someone who loves you enough to be honest with you and remind you of your boundaries. Someone you share your lists with and someone you can pour your heart out to. Accountability partners should be someone with your best interests at heart and someone you trust. My mom is one my closest accountability partners because I can always trust her to tell me something honestly even when I might not want to hear it. Of course my greatest accountability partner is God. He doesn’t leave us alone as we wait; He is preparing and helping us as we wait. I have often struggled to see his ultimate plan but the bible says, “I know the plans I have for you” God knows the plans he has for you and they are “Plans to give you a hope and a future” Saving yourself for marriage is not something to be taken lightly but when you wait for God’s timing it is a beautiful thing.